The Petting Sequence
The Petting Sequence is the first time we initiate touch with the cat. By completing Phase 1 and letting the cat always be the one to initiate touch, you have already gained the trust of the cat. This trust is what makes the petting sequence possible.
The Petting Sequence is very methodical because we gradually push the envelope with the cat with each step. For most adult cats, each step will take a week or so. But for some cats, you may find that you can fly through the first few steps within the first day or two. You need to take cues from the cat on how quickly to progress. Do not go too quickly because it will backfire and the next step of “petting without treats” will not work. This is because when we rush the cat, at the end the cat isn’t truly comfortable with petting. And for “petting without treats” we work towards getting the cat to enjoy petting.
Observe the cat carefully. When the cat is oblivious to your hand/the petting in the current step, do the current step for one more day, and then progress to the next step of the Petting Sequence. Make sure to always start with Step 0 and move through the steps until you get to the current step every time you start a session. Step 0 and the prior steps should each only take a fraction of a second because you don’t want to use up your treats before you get to the current step. This eases the cat into the current step so he is more likely to continue being distracted by the treat to let you do it.
The following is a brief explanation of each step in the petting sequence. Tutorial videos that demonstrate each step are further below.
The Petting Sequence
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We get the cat acclimated to having our hand near the cat’s face (but not touching the cat) by using the treat to bring the cat’s face towards our hand. We do not bring our hand towards the cat, because at this point that is still very scary for the cat. Even when the hand is to the side near the cheek, the cat is aware of the hand through his peripheral vision.
We do not “cheat” by trying to pet the cat from the back or the side because our goal is for the cat to be ok with a hand coming towards him and for him to enjoy petting. If you “cheat” now, you’ll encounter issues in the advanced stages.
A few cats are very scared of hands and have a hard time getting past this stage. Refer to the variations section below for pre-work to do for these cases.
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I call this feather touch because it will feel to the cat like he is being touched by a feather. The back of our fingers just barely touch the fur of the cat. We do not touch the skin. So it feels like the lightest “feather” is touching the cat.
It may not seem like much, but the cat has nerve endings so he feels the touch on his fur. These smaller steps significantly help the cat get acclimated to petting because with each successive step we are “nudging” the cat or “pushing the envelope” without pushing so hard that the cat gets too scared.
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Rotate your fingers at the base where your fingers connect to your palm in order to touch the cat’s skin. There is no pressure at all, just the lightest touch. You only need to rotate 1/8 - 1/4 inch for short-haired cats. It’s almost imperceptible to you, but the cat will definitely notice the change.
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Continuing from the Skin Touch step, we rotate our fingers another 1/8 - 1/4 inch in order to apply light pressure onto the skin of the cat.
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Using the back of your fingers, veeeeeery slowly pet the side of the cat. The first pet is from cheek to hip, then each subsequent pet is from shoulder to hip. Make these long slow strokes. Keep your hand at the side and do not touch the spine of the cat.
Keep your fingers together so that it feels like one solid “hand” instead of individual fingers (because we eventually want to get the cat used to being pet by a palm). Have your palm facing the ceiling so that the cat feels one solid block petting. People often make the mistake of holding their hand sideways, which at the end will cause the cat to feel 4 separate fingertips touching him. This “fingertips” feeling will not be comfortable for the cat and make him jumpy.
When you start back of hand petting you need to go back to very light or no pressure and make sure you are moving your hand veeeeery slowly. Many people who contact me that they are stuck at this stage are petting too quickly. Once I have them slow down, the cat starts to make progress. You are moving your hand slowly enough when it feels painfully slow to you!
Then over the course of a week or more, you first increase pressure (keeping speed very slow) then while maintaining the increased pressure, you increase the speed.
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We switch to petting the cat with the palm of our hand. Pet the side of the cat. The first pet is from cheek to hip, then each subsequent pet is from shoulder to hip. Make these long slow strokes. Keep your hand at the side and do not touch the spine of the cat.
Try your best to have your fingertips pointing at the ceiling, but make sure you are comfortable. For most people, a 45 degree angle works well for both their and the cat’s comfort.
You need to go back to very light or no pressure and a veeeeery slow speed when you switch to the palm. The palm feels very different and more intense to the cat than the back of the hand, so we need to pull back on pressure and speed to compensate for this change. Remember that you are moving your hand slowly enough when it feels painfully slow to you!
Then over the course of a week or more, you first increase pressure (keeping speed very slow) then while maintaining the increased pressure, you increase the speed.
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Now that the cat is oblivious to you petting the side of his body with long faster and more pressure strokes, you can start to move your palm and fingers around the body such as the spine then tail. Initially continue long strokes then you can start to shorten the strokes to get the cat used to different ways of being petted. The goal is to get the cat ready for a forever home where the adopter may do a quick little pet when she greets the cat.
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The next step is to start petting the head of the cat. We do this by inching our thumb up the back of the head with each pet (see the videos below). You then introduce cheek rubs and twirling the cat’s ears around your finger in a gentle way so that it doesn’t hurt the cat.
You’ve done it! Your kitty is almost ready for a forever home now that he is starting to enjoy getting petted.
Petting Sequence Preparation - Part 1
It’s important for you to feel what the cat feels to understand why you need to do long slow strokes, and why we start with the back of the hand petting before moving on to palm petting. Make sure to follow along with this video and do the petting on your own arm. It really makes a difference when you understand it from the cat’s perspective. This method works so well because of the empathy we feel for the cat.
Petting Sequence Preparation - Part 2
This is how to transition from 4 paws up on extended legs to Step 0 “Hand near face” of the petting sequence.
Petting Sequence Tutorial
In this video, I walk through every step in detail and show all of the nuances of the petting sequence. The subsequent videos demonstrate the steps in action with a real cat.
Step 0 - 2: Hand near face, Feather touch & Skin touch
There isn’t a demonstration video for Step 3: Light Pressure because it looks to an outside observer like skin touch.
Step 4: Back of hand petting
Step 5: Palm petting
Step 6: Advanced petting - spine
Step 7: Advanced petting - head
After completing the Petting Sequence (incl. Step 7) Petting the cat’s head
After the cat completed the petting sequence and the cat is comfortable being pet on the head in Step 7, whenever you want to pet the cat on the head, make sure to come in from below the chin.
Variations
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If the cat is scare of the hand and won’t go near the hand for Step 0, or is still jumpy near the hand for more than a week and a half, pause on the petting sequence and follow the pre-work below to create a positive association with your hand and the treat.
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If the cat is ok with Step 0 but is very hesitant in Step 1 and doesn’t become oblivious to the feather touch after two weeks, follow the variation below and do the petting sequence in front of you.
The ideal situation is to do the petting sequence on our lap because it reinforces lap work the whole time we are doing petting sequence. Repetition of lap work is what encourages the cat to become a lap cat or a beside you cat who enjoys being right next to you. But if needed, it is more important to get the cat through the Petting Sequence and incorporate a few minutes of lap work at the end of each session when the cat reaches Step 6.
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If the cat gets stuck at a petting sequence step for 3 or more weeks (even after you tried all the other variations mentioned above), pause on the petting sequence and move on to the next step of Crossed Legs Lapwork.
Then in a few weeks when the cat is very comfortable being in your crossed legs lap with treats, you can re-introduce the Petting Sequence in your crossed legs.
If the cat is stuck at a step in the Petting Sequence in your crossed legs for 2 or more weeks, go back to doing the petting sequence in front of you.
Cat is afraid of hands - petting sequence pre-work
Some cats are very scare of having hands come near them. In these cases, we pause the Petting Sequence to create a positive association of treats with our hands in a methodical way before re-starting the Petting Sequence.
Cat is hesitant - petting sequence in front of you
If the cat is very hesitant with the Petting Sequence, reduce the number of “push the envelope” variables and do the Petting Sequence in front of you and off your lap.
Crossed legs petting sequence
If that cat is really stuck at the Petting Sequence, proceed to the Crossed Legs Lapwork then after the cat completes Crossed Legs Lapwork, you can re-introduce the Petting Sequence following the video below. Make sure the cat completes the Crossed Legs Lapwork and is comfortable in your lap without any touching/petting before introducing this.